You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
