Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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