Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
