i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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