a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
