just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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