we have officially lost it.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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