If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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