Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
