My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need moral support for this bender
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize