THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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