Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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