Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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