girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We just shotgunned beers for America
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
