i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
