Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
