she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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