i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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