i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
