We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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