you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
