I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
