I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
