Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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