in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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