she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
