why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
