i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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