You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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