Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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