oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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