Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
