Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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