Sry I called you an 8
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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