Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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