Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
