did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
