We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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