I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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