My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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