I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
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He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
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I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize