Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
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for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
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Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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