I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
