It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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