I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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