So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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