i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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