FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
