btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
