would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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