Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
