420 ftw
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
