my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
