The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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