He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Randomize
