sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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