nut hugger
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
