sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
