Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
