Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
