i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
