Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm like, not good at living.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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