Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
