Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?

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(905): View more from Toronto

I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree

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(503): View more from Oregon

we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.

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(440): View more from Ohio

my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Let's just rave with boners that last for hours

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.

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(631): View more from New York

Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am

Fav 0 37 30
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