I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I love you.
Bad choice
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
